Random Bits

This time with footnotes!*
(*They're not really footnotes, nor are they end notes, I think they're actually parenthetical subnotes)

“I don’t want pie in the sky by and by. I want some ham where I am.” - the List of TV Evangelist Greatest Hits
(By "Greatest Hits" I mean "The utterances that make a mockery of our Savior's love and sacrifice")

Televangelist Ernst Angley had to ground his 747 because they can't afford the maintenance
(I know a fellow who will do the work cheap)

Is Pop-Christianity fading fad?
(Satan doesn't fade, he acquires a new target and fires all guns)

In 2006, 13 year old Carra Crouch was drugged and raped by a 30-year-old employee of Trinity Christian Center. She sued her Grandmother,
(and from reading the transcript, I would have sued her grandmother too)

Enemies within the church - Is the Reformed Christian Movement Splitting over the “Woke” Theology? 
(editors note: There's a huge difference between being Wide Awake and being Woke)



So I went over to Benny Hinn's website to see how he's doing now that he's given up the prosperity "gospel" - I did find a great deal on a Messiah Tallit Prayer Shawl - only $55
(It's also available on Amazon at a slightly reduced price) 

And Benny is still preaching the Prosperity Seed-Faith Giving scam he repented of weeks ago
(I'm sure it's just force of habit)

A Pastafarian high priest just opened an Alaska city council meeting in prayer.
(Spaghetti - it's what to worship on those long Alaskan nights)

Sviatovid, an ancient Celtic god of war, has been revealed to be the Presbyterian Church USA (PCUSA) god of choice
(If you're not going to worship the one true God, might as well worship one that glows in the dark)

Why worship God when you can worship Aladdin!
(Funny - he doesn't look like Justin Trudeau...)

Union Seminary has turned to animism and confesses to plants
(Do truly nasty confessions aid in making wilted lettuce salad?)

A baby born alive at 23 weeks but tossed out with the trash and left to die at Florida clinic

Abortionist Dies and Police Find Remains of Over 2,200 Aborted Babies in His Home
(Hey Facebook: When the coroner investigated the bodies, how many genders did they identify?*)
(*A pastor was kicked off Facebook for asking this exact same question, I'm poking the tiger)

Is Trump the new Cyrus? Will he build the Third Temple? Christians let political idolatry run amok
(Trump did save us from Hillary which was miraculous, but there's not going to be a third temple)

Church youth director is one of 100 people arrested in a massive human trafficking and child sex sting
(What is the Christian response for something so foul?)

Former pastor and now kindergarten teacher arrested for possessing child porn
(This story gets worse with every paragraph you read)

NBC news officially turns Climate Change into a real religion where you can confess your sins
(I've already mentioned this in my other award winning* blog)
(*it was a participation trophy)

At first I thought this was a goofy idea, but the more I read the more I like it
(What say you Christians? Please comment below)

Jerry Fallwell Jr claims that there is a “criminal conspiracy” and “attempted coup” against him and will sue
(Christians are not immune from office politics)

Pastor arrested for praying for the victims of a drag queen story hour
(Apparently freedom of speech does not include criticizing homosexuals and transvestites)

Over 200 incidents of anti-Christian violence reported in India in 2019
(pray for our brothers and sisters in persecution)

Mega-church building goes up for sale after congregants withheld their offerings over pastors sexual antics
(antics barely scratches the surface)

News Flash! Large carnivorous plant at Union Seminary does not accept students apologies, goes on rampage!
(Feed me Seymour!)