Christian Witches: Blasphemy on Resurrection Sunday

Blasphemy on Resurrection Sunday 

Just when you think Satan's plan is all about sex, one of his oldest schemes of damnation crawls out from under a rock:

“The Bible is a huge book of sorcery. You literally can’t get around that. You can’t get around Jesus being a magician. There’s just no way,” - Calvin Witcher, self proclaimed prophet

10 There shall not be found among you anyone who makes his son or his daughter pass through the fire, one who uses divination, one who practices witchcraft, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, 11 or one who casts a spell, or a medium, or a spiritist, or one who calls up the dead. 12 For whoever does these things is detestable to the Lord; and because of these detestable things the Lord your God will drive them out before you. (Deuteronomy 18:10-12)

Jesus was an sorcerer who 'performed alchemy' and the bible is really a 'book of magic' and that being a "Christian" Witch, or Wizard, or Mage is just ducky. There's actually people running around believing this, and (of course) there's someone out there to make money off their ignorance. So from April 15 to April 21 (Resurrection Sunday) in Salem Massachusetts (could they be more cliche?) attendees of the First Annual Christian Witches Convention will prance around in pointy hats, and gothic robes attending workshops (Tune Up Your Broom For Maximum Altitude? Boiling Children In Cauldrons Dos and Donts? Hummingbird Tongue - The Next Eye Of Newt?) all the while worshiping Satan and denying it through their teeth.

The advertisement for this upcoming detestable-fest breathlessly invites the spiritually confused to the "Covenant of Christian Witches Mystery School" from Monday through Friday, April 15-19 promising  "Bible Magick, Ritual, Spell Work and MORE for the Practicing Christian Witch" All of this taught by "Mystery School Head Mistress Rev. Valerie Love" and guest visiting professor "Prophet" Calvin Witcher.

Monday through Thursday the "Mystery School" will cover Demonology, "Magick, Magick & More Magick!" which is a dive into "Hoodoo, Bible Magick, Chaos Magick, an Introduction to Enochian Vision Magick and the Grimoires in the Solomonic Tradition" AND "An Intense Introduction to the POWER OF BIBLE MAGICK featuring the secret teachings of Gideon" And on Friday "Prophet" Calvin Witcher Medium & Spiritual Healer (oh naturally) will teach a class on... something. They haven't announced it yet. In fact they haven't announced the venue yet, but they will get one, the good people of Salem MA haven't seen a witch whose purse they couldn't empty.

And how much is this sinful extravaganza? It's a mere $1,100 - or the cost of books and lab fees for an entire quarter at a self respecting college. If that's a bit much then there's the American Horror Story Apocalypse Themed Witches Ball on Saturday Night for only $99 (get your best Witchy gear on!) and if that's still too pricey for you there's the Resurrection Sunday Gospel Brunch "celebrating Resurrection Sunday Christian Witch style" for only $55

But wait! There's more! On the day that Christians hold most dear, the witches try to foul the day with their Resurrection Sunday Christian Witches Church Service which is absolutely FREE! and there's music! A Powerful word from Rev. Valerie Love! "and more inspiration than you can shake your broomstick at!" so "bring the whole family!" 

They honestly said this stuff, I didn't make it up (ok, I made up the names of the workshops in the fourth paragraph) but these people honestly believe this and there's people out there that believe weirder such as the self proclaimed ChristoPagans who worship Jesus and Mary as god and goddess. No, they're not the RCC, ChristoPagans fully admit they worship Mary as a goddess.

The "Reverend" Valerie Love (also known as KAISI) is an ordained Minister of Spiritual Consciousness and she claims to be gifted by the Divine as a seer and is intentional about her soul mission to reveal the healing love and light of God to create a life of TOTAL & COMPLETE FREEDOM. (emphasis hers) She claims that she is affectionately known as 'the divine midwife' due to her passionate desire and soul urge to midwife your magnificent Soul Destiny​ (emphasis hers) and claims that her destiny is to inspire you to your life of TOTAL & COMPLETE FREEDOM: Spiritually, Mentally, Emotionally, Physically and Financially! (emphasis hers again)

She says she was born a witch but because she grew up in the cult of Jehovah's Witnesses she wasn't able to grow wings (seriously?) and flourish. She suffered a bout of depression at the age of 30, nearly committed suicide but now she's a goddess (wait... what... goddess? yes - she said it:) 

"No, I HAD to have EVERY experience I've had to be the Goddess I AM today... that much is clear" (Source) 

Does she mean the goddess that she is, or the goddess named I AM? I'm going with the second option because this is not the only time she's called herself by God's name. The Reverend Love has written a "Christian" witches creed which is little more than an egotistical piece of self indulgence. In 15 very short paragraphs she managed to say "I" and "my" and "me" 59 times. Probably the most telling part for an Actual Christian is when she says:

I know who I AM (emphasis hers)

Is she naming herself I AM? With her ego I wouldn't doubt it but if she actually knew the great I AM she would be on her knees begging for forgiveness for the sin that God hates the most: Pride.

And that's all this is, vicious non stop self adoration. Everything they say and do is I, I, I, me, me, me, my, my, my, you, your, yours, your freedom, your destiny, your enlightenment, your wealth, your power. Who makes demons? You do! With negative thoughts. Who makes angels? You do! with positive thoughts (This video at 6:00) If God is mentioned it's a peripheral salutation. 

In all this self adoration I need to ask WHERE IS JESUS? (emphasis mine). In the Christian Witch lexicon Jesus is just a word to be tossed out generally in the same sentence as the word "love" just to sound (or convince themselves that they are) Christian. But to an actual Christ following Christian, Christ is everything, He is our life: we are told: "to live is Christ" (Philippians 1:21) our life should revolve around Jesus Christ and we strive to imitate Jesus Christ, and the words I and me no longer hold us in their thrall.

In the bible Christians are called "Saints", you can see it in Romans 1:7, 1 Corinthians 1:2, 2 Corinthians 1:1, Colossians 1:2, Ephesians 1:1, Philippians 1:1, 1 Corinthians 14:33 and at least eight more places. We aren't witches, wizards, seers, or mages, and the only thing we make, the only thing we can form, is other people. We can't convert thoughts into beings, because demons and angels are created beings. 

And we don't banish demons. In that video Rev. Love's solution is to say the "Our Father" in the original Aramaic (How do we know it was said in Aramaic?) and YOU get the maximum benefit, or you make a circle of sea salt on your altar and trap the demon in the circle then you get an angel to banish it and then it starts to get weirder). Instead of banishing demons, we put on the full armor of God so that when the day comes we may be able to stand our ground. We're never told to fight demons, we're told to resist them, and pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. (Ephesians 6:10-18)

Rev. Valerie Love is a dangerous false teacher, her teaching comes straight from the pits of hell, and her guest speaker, Prophet Calvin Witcher, is not a prophet. A prophet speaks for God, Calvin Witcher speaks for Calvin Witcher. He called the bible "A huge book of sorcery" and called Jesus a magician:

“You’re talking about sorcery at its base understanding, it’s really just being able to change the natural by supernatural means. That’s really it. It’s an alchemical process. It’s to say that you turn water into wine. One, two fish and five loaves of bread, feeding the multitude - absolutely forms of sorcery. Walking on water defined the natural realm and laws that govern this physical plane. That’s all realms of sorcery. Magic is simply just using the props to do it. You’re talking about the whole of Jesus’ adult ministry is all magic, all sorcery. Even if we just say ‘Jesus.’ Every particular miracle Jesus does defies human law, defies the laws of the universe and the world. So … you can’t really talk about being a Jesus follower without doing what he did which is magic."

It sounds like this man has never read the bible, if he has then Cal missed the point of the Gospels. Jesus clearly said that God performed the miracle, that He was just the conduit for God.

Therefore Jesus answered and was saying to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, these things the Son also does in like manner. (John 5:19)

I can do nothing on My own initiative. As I hear, I judge; and My judgment is just, because I do not seek My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me. (John 5:30)

Brothers and sisters in Christ, there is no such thing as a "Christian Witch" or wizard or mage. God has warned us over and over that seeking out supernatural powers is a violation of his will, and therefore a sin. Devices that have been associated with witchcraft such as Tarot Cards and Ouija boards are tools of Satan. Without going deep into spiritual warfare it's safe to say that these devices and practices are not Holy, but Satanic.

Do not turn to mediums or spiritists; do not seek them out to be defiled by them. I am the LORD your God. (Leviticus 19:31)

As for the person who turns to mediums and to spiritists, to play the harlot after them, I will also set My face against that person and will cut him off from among his people. (Leviticus 20:6)

19 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, 21 envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. (Galatians 5:19-21)

19 When they say to you, “Consult the mediums and the spiritists who whisper and mutter,” should not a people consult their God? Should they consult the dead on behalf of the living? 20 To the law and to the testimony! If they do not speak according to this word, it is because they have no dawn. (Isaiah 8:19-20)

10 There shall not be found among you anyone who makes his son or his daughter pass through the fire, one who uses divination, one who practices witchcraft, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, 11 or one who casts a spell, or a medium, or a spiritist, or one who calls up the dead. 12 For whoever does these things is detestable to the Lord; and because of these detestable things the Lord your God will drive them out before you. (Deuteronomy 18:10-12)

So if you're going to be a witch, go be a witch. There is no such thing as a "Christian Witch", just as there is no such thing as a "Moslem Hindu", or a "Vegan Ribeye". If you want to be a witch go out into the woods and stand naked in a circle and sing to a goddess that was made up by Gerald Gardner in the 1940's to get you to take your clothes off. Play "romance solitaire" with your tarot cards. Claim your adopted alley cat is your familiar. Go cast imaginary spells, hexes, and curses, and by all means worship Gaia, a rock created by God. You are the creation, worshiping the creation, and claiming to have the powers of the creator, all the while denying the words that you don't like that came from the Creator. 

So by all means, go do that, just don't call yourself a Christian, because you're not Christian. To be a Christian is to be a part of a Holy people, set apart from this failing, filthy world. To claim you are Christian but participating in the works of Satan is purely wrong.

13 For such men are false apostles, deceitful workers, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. 14 No wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. 15 Therefore it is not surprising if his servants also disguise themselves as servants of righteousness, whose end will be according to their deeds. (2 Corinthians 11:13-15)