On occasion a freshly scrubbed pair of young men will appear at my front door with Good News for me. They both wear black shoes, white socks, black pants, a white shirt, a pencil thin black tie, a few pens in a 60's era pocket protector, a maroon bicycle helmet and a black back pack that's worn nerd style (both straps on, pack riding high, not the more stylish one strap over one shoulder, pack hanging very low)
Usually one of their opening lines is that they're not here to convert me, to which I respond "Good, and since you are here I fully intend to convert you," and I crack open my NASB. At this point there's usually the sound of air slapping closed on a sudden vacuum and a pair of vapor trails heading off to the neighbors house. Yes, they were mormons and no, they haven't figured out (like the JW's have) to put me on a black list. Now don't get me wrong, by posting about the mormon church on Emergent Monday I'm not saying that the mormon church is an emergent church. The Presbyterians are: "Mormonism is a new and emerging religious tradition distinct from the historic apostolic tradition of the Christian Church". And just like the Doug Padgetts and Rick Warrens and the Eugene Petersons of the emerging church they have something different to say about what God has already said...
The young fellows, clean cut enough for managerial positions at Chick-fil-A, insist that they are not there to convert but to "share a message for all faiths" but unfortunately their message has more in common with Hinduism than with Christianity. Their number one message is that the Bible is insufficient. The book of Nephi (Nephi was a jewish missionary who hung out with the aboriginal natives of North America in 600 BC... wait - Jewish Missionary?!?) states that an Angel told Nephi in 1 Nephi 13:28-29 that the gentiles took "many plain and precious things" away from the book and that the Gentiles "which have gone forth out of captivity" took the plain things "out of the gospel of the Lamb" yadda yadda yadda
In other words, the Bible is insufficient because 1) The Gentiles that were never in captivity corrupted it as they came out of captivity. 2) The Gentiles messed up the New Testament 650 years before it was even written. And the Gospel of the Lamb? The concept of the Messiah being the sacrificial lamb for all mankind wasn't even conceived of until after his crucifixion. Before then he was considered by the Jews to be the great conqueror, sent from God to right all wrongs. However in the Bible God states
16 All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; 17 so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work. (2 Timothy 3:16-17)
Now why would God tell Nephi, of whom there is no historical, biblical, or archeological evidence that Nephi or his people ever existed, that the bible is insufficient, yet back in the Holy Land He tell His people something else through Paul of whom there is much historical evidence. (Hint: We know from Malachi 3:6 that God didn't tell man two stories, but one of his creations may have) God never changes, we lowly creatures do.
If you chat with these nice, clean cut, idealistic lads long enough they will tell you that Christ was the firstborn spirit child of the Father in a premortal life and the remainder of humanity was born as spirits later in this "pre-existence." Mormon prophets and apostles have claim moreover this was a literal birth, the result of literal physical sexual siring a mythological diety (Heavenly Mother) and also that the devil was born as one of God's noble spirit sons during the pre-existence which makes Satan Jesus' brother. In fact, rather than our creator and savior, it makes Jesus brother of us all. Now I do say that Jesus is my elder brother, but I only claim this on His terms (Hebrews 2: 11-12) not on some mystical non-biblical pre-existent sexual coupling... wait! What about Mary?
"Christ was begotten by an immortal Father in the same way that mortal men are begotten by mortal fathers." (Mormon Doctrine, 1966, p. 547)
I know what you're saying - how can this be a virgin birth if God... umm... well... you know. Our smiley young lads at the front door have an answer for that too.
"Our Lord is the only mortal person ever born to a virgin, because he is the only person who ever had an immortal Father." (Mormon Doctrine, 2nd ed., p. 822)
Mary remained a virgin because God, acting like a common man, was more awesome than a common man. Ok, so we just turned God into a "Most Interesting Man In The World" beer commercial. And think about it (you're really going to wish I didn't go here) - if we are all physical/spirit children of God, then God is the father and Mary is his daughter and that makes their relationship - ! - eeew!
The invention of a lecherous god dumbs down the real concept of the creator of heaven and earth to mortal substandards because the programmers of these fresh faced young lads cannot conceive of a power much greater than themselves. By turning Mary into a 1st century Leda we're talking about paganism on Grecian levels, I wouldn't be surprised if I found out that our idealistic young lads at the were also taught that God took the form of a swan.
And the deeper into the rabbit hole you go, the curiouser it gets
No comments:
Post a Comment