Random Bits

"I walk through this sinful world as a 

pilgrim in a foreign country" - CH Spurgeon

Sorry I'm late - I've been sick all week, then heading here to Random Bits I got trapped by one of those self titled "Christian Anarchists". There's no such thing as a Christian Anarchist, it's like calling yourself a Meateating Vegan, or a Conservative Marxist or an Intellectual Admirer of AOC.

That's when I started coughing up little blobs of blood. I sent a note (and a pic of said blood blob) to Dr. Awesome who ordered me to report to St. Joe's ER, which I did. It turns out that '\my being "sick all week" wasn't bronchitis as ER visit #1/2019 told me, or C-DIF (which ER visit #2/2019 thought) but ER visit #3/2019 said it was pneumonia. yuk 😰

And there I go, mentioning Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. I'm tempted to get all political here but I mustn't. On one hand, I'm a rail-fan, I love trains and her plan to replace airplanes with trains just warms my heart. I would love to take a train trip from Denver to Italy. But she has moved away from her initial Green New Deal Plan #9 From Outer Space silliness (I guess some people actually thought she was serious) and she has moved on to her actual agenda: dethroning God

However that's the tip of the rapidly growing iceberg, in Random Bits last week I mentioned a "goddess" that's running for president. This woman is not a goddess, she's not a guru, she's not a high priestess, what she is is Scary Dangerous. On with the show...

Abortion, hypnotism, astrology, augury, omen reading, necromancy, spell casting, seeking spiritual direction through natural phenomenon… is it any wonder that God Hates The Occult? part 2, part 3

Former first lady Hillary Clinton is defending the world wild human right to Kill The Babies!

What if Mormon missionaries told the truth about their religion?

What if Mormon missionaries told the truth about their religion?
by Matt Slick

If Mormon missionaries came to your door and told the absolute truth about their religion, how many people would really believe that? What if the Mormon missionaries had a dialogue that went something like this...

Knock Knock.

The door opens.

"Hello, we are from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. And we want to tell you about the restored gospel. You see, after the apostles died, the church fell into apostasy. But God in his loving mercy restored the true gospel to Joseph Smith in the early 1800s. We bear our testimony to you that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the true, restored church. All other churches are false.  Furthermore, we testify to you that, through heavenly Father's restored church, you have the ability, with the restored priesthood, by keeping commandments, and tithing, to reach godhood.  We want you to know Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches that God was once a man on another world and by keeping the laws and ordinances of His God, he was able to reach the status of God himself. He, and his wife, now live in the heavenly realm and we are all their literal offspring born in the pre-existence before we came to this world. Our goal is to honor God by keeping his commandments, by going to the temple and receiving the tokens, and baptizing people for the dead, so that on the day of judgment we might become gods ourselves."

The man of the house stares back at the two young missionaries.  "Become gods?"

"Yes, you can become a God if you join our church, pay a full 10% tithe of your income to the church, and keep celestial law.  You can then call your wife forth and she will assist you as a goddess in populating your own planet."

The man's eyebrows can't rise any further, though he seemed to try.  "Goddess wife?"

"Yes sir, as you would be a God, she would be your wife and you and your family could stay together forever in heaven."

The man stares at the young men...for a while....not sure how to respond to all of that.

"Would you like a Book of Mormon?"

"What is this Book of Mormon?"

"The Book of Mormon is another Testament of Jesus Christ.  It was revealed to Joseph Smith who restored the true church when he was given golden plates by the Angel Moroni. Joseph translated the golden plates by the authority of God when he put a seer stone in a hat, he put his face in the hat, and then God gave him the translation of the reformed hieroglyphics that were on those gold plates."

After a few more seconds of staring, the man lowers his eyebrows and asks, "Hieroglyphics?  You mean Egyptian hieroglyphics?

Random Bits

"I walk through this sinful world as a 

pilgrim in a foreign country" - CH Spurgeon

Welcome to LentFest 2019! the annual tradition where Roman Catholics, Psudo Catholics, and Fallen Catholics play their annual game of My Sacrifice Is Greater Than Yours. Some give up chocolate (my mom's favorite sacrifice), others give up alcohol (my uncles always gave up hard liquor which was probably not that hard because none of them drank hard liquor, but between the three of them they would put away 2 cases of beer a day) I tended to give up riding my bike (which wasn't that hard because Buffalo is a slush covered morass during Lent) I personally am giving up Lent for Lent, which is kind of difficult because I sooo love a good fish fry on Lenten fridays (but logic dictates that if I give up Lent I can have a friday fish fry any day I want)

So why not give up something that everyone loves and let's join our Catholic brothers and sisters in this: let's give up Sin. Let's quit rebelling against God. We love sin so much that God had to send His son down here to walk a few hundred miles in our shoes to show us that a sin free life can be led, then he let himself be killed so our sins were forgiven through Father's grace. I know we want to see Jesus, but I think it will be less traumatic to see Him in His house rather than see Him in His second advent down here.

Are the Roman Catholic Holy Days of Obligation Biblical?

Mr. Pope goes full AOC

Mr. Pope’ top financial adviser and the Vatican’s economy minister convicted of molesting 2 choirboys. Pray for the surviving victim (one of his targets killed himself with heroine)

United Methodist Church upholds biblical position against homosexuality, same-sex marriage

Schism feared after United Methodist Church's narrow vote to retain gay bans

The "Goddess" that is running for president

Spurgeon Thursday - Is He Talking About Osteen?

Christian Witches: Blasphemy on Resurrection Sunday

Blasphemy on Resurrection Sunday 

Just when you think Satan's plan is all about sex, one of his oldest schemes of damnation crawls out from under a rock:

“The Bible is a huge book of sorcery. You literally can’t get around that. You can’t get around Jesus being a magician. There’s just no way,” - Calvin Witcher, self proclaimed prophet

10 There shall not be found among you anyone who makes his son or his daughter pass through the fire, one who uses divination, one who practices witchcraft, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, 11 or one who casts a spell, or a medium, or a spiritist, or one who calls up the dead. 12 For whoever does these things is detestable to the Lord; and because of these detestable things the Lord your God will drive them out before you. (Deuteronomy 18:10-12)

Jesus was an sorcerer who 'performed alchemy' and the bible is really a 'book of magic' and that being a "Christian" Witch, or Wizard, or Mage is just ducky. There's actually people running around believing this, and (of course) there's someone out there to make money off their ignorance. So from April 15 to April 21 (Resurrection Sunday) in Salem Massachusetts (could they be more cliche?) attendees of the First Annual Christian Witches Convention will prance around in pointy hats, and gothic robes attending workshops (Tune Up Your Broom For Maximum Altitude? Boiling Children In Cauldrons Dos and Donts? Hummingbird Tongue - The Next Eye Of Newt?) all the while worshiping Satan and denying it through their teeth.

The advertisement for this upcoming detestable-fest breathlessly invites the spiritually confused to the "Covenant of Christian Witches Mystery School" from Monday through Friday, April 15-19 promising  "Bible Magick, Ritual, Spell Work and MORE for the Practicing Christian Witch" All of this taught by "Mystery School Head Mistress Rev. Valerie Love" and guest visiting professor "Prophet" Calvin Witcher.

Monday through Thursday the "Mystery School" will cover Demonology, "Magick, Magick & More Magick!" which is a dive into "Hoodoo, Bible Magick, Chaos Magick, an Introduction to Enochian Vision Magick and the Grimoires in the Solomonic Tradition" AND "An Intense Introduction to the POWER OF BIBLE MAGICK featuring the secret teachings of Gideon" And on Friday "Prophet" Calvin Witcher Medium & Spiritual Healer (oh naturally) will teach a class on... something. They haven't announced it yet. In fact they haven't announced the venue yet, but they will get one, the good people of Salem MA haven't seen a witch whose purse they couldn't empty.

And how much is this sinful extravaganza? It's a mere $1,100 - or the cost of books and lab fees for an entire quarter at a self respecting college. If that's a bit much then there's the American Horror Story Apocalypse Themed Witches Ball on Saturday Night for only $99 (get your best Witchy gear on!) and if that's still too pricey for you there's the Resurrection Sunday Gospel Brunch "celebrating Resurrection Sunday Christian Witch style" for only $55